Pip needs spiflicating!

   Dear Readers,
      You might assume that as I have not been posting as regularly is my want that all has been quiet on the Pip front. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. Pip has been keeping us very busy – he has turned into a very naughty boy!

      What happened to my dear lovable pup? 

   One example. D2 and I took Pip for a walk on the beach. Now D2 – being an agile 7 nearly 8-year-old tomboy – likes a bit of mischief herself. On this particular day; she wanted me to ‘spiflicate her’.

   This is something my Mum used to say when she was really fed up with us – ‘If you don’t behave, I’m going to spiflicate you!’ I never really knew what the word spiflicate meant and even back then it was kinda funny – although Mum usually cried this in a pinnacle of rage. Anyway, it’s become a bit of a running gag with me and my kids; when they muck up, I threaten to spiflicate them.

    On one memorable occasion, I threatened to spiflicate D1. We pretended to start karate fighting on the way to school – she made a mock kick, I caught her foot, she fell over and promptly skinned her knee. Although she was in pain, she was also in fits of giggles. ‘Mum, you spiflicated me!’

     So D2 and I began play fighting on the beach BUT Pip decided to join in...

Hello ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, another post from the one and only... D1!

    * D1 has been learning how to write persuasive texts at school. Here is her opinion piece on that subject close to all our hearts - dog poo!  Hotdog Heath

Actually, I’m not that famous (it is mum’s blog) but you should still read this...

It is outrageous that practically no-one bothers picking up their dog’s revolting, sickening doggy dung. Not only does it fill our nostrils with the most horrific smell and our eyes with the most disgusting sight but it also heavily affects our eco-system which is most definitely the most horrid of them all!

Not my foot...

To kick off, whenever this putrid waste comes in contact with any of our senses we turn away in pure disgust. Do you want to have your dog poo making the community appalled and utterly horrified? I hope you don’t because that would be disgraceful. These completely gross things are just one good reason to pick up your dog’s foul slop.

The Greedy Cow

Went to the Cheeky Cow this morning with Pip and the family. We were waiting for our breakie to arrive when a middle-aged guy walked up with a large German Shepherd.

Don't hurt me Pip!

 His dog was scared of Pip. Last week, explained the guy, he’d been attacked by a Labrador and a $300 trip to the vet with stiches followed. Consequently the poor dog has developed an aversion to anything lab-like. 

Give a dog a bone

We’ve been away, the girls and I, and left ‘the boys’ to their own devices. It was the longest we’d ever left Pip on his own and it seems he coped quite well.

Him-In-Doors bought him the biggest bone I’ve ever seen in my life from Tasman Meats.

The remains of Pip's bone alongside his squeaker bone

I felt mildly guilty giving it to him on Monday morning before I set off for Melbourne. I was still inside doing some last-minute packing when I heard him clunking the bone on the deck. It sounded like he was dismantling the deck.

Another guest post from D1

 How to teach your dog to fly

by D1

 

 Tie a giant bone to a light hanging 5 metres above the ground.

1.       Fetch your T.V remote.

2.      Get your dog and put it on a bookshelf 8 metres above the ground. (Make sure your dog is on a lead).

3.     Press fast forward on your remote control.

4.     Unclip your dog’s leash and command “fly”.

5.      Your dog will have flown to the bone and be clinging on to it by its teeth.

6.     Your T.V will be going at top speed.